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The current period signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could instantly end contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, finding a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes pointless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media lingo.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their millennial forerunners could ever fathom. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a extensive guide to the words gen Z is using to discuss romance, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test inspired by a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to seeking out someone who helps you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A date where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral quirks suggesting a potential partner is not right. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, bad tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your choice to date a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, largely benign quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that immediately kill any feelings of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet display.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {