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Our friends with a woman, a person who's faced and conquered several hardships, her resilience is commendable. But, she has been repeatedly blindsided by others. Her husband ended their marriage, which came as an unexpected event. Many of close acquaintances vanished during that time, since they had been drawn to the spouse. This surprised her. She put in increased attention toward our bond, probably understood more clearly the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern In Relationships

In the time since, quite a few of her friends have drifted apart without her being sure why. Her last employer turned on her, although she had been very skilled at her work, she departed not understanding what had changed.

Present Situation

In recent times, both of us stepped back from work leading to more frequent meetups, however, I feel the part I play in the relationship is as the audience. I start topics of conversation and she changes them to things she cares about. In terms of politics, she holds firm beliefs. I try to propose factchecking and different perspectives.

She has been planning a trip abroad I know well many times even called home previously. I tried to provide personal experiences, yet it was not welcomed. She really just desired my agreement with her decisions. I've just ended a month in that place she is eager to catch up, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate to be a friend who abandons suddenly without explanation, however, I feel she will ever comprehend the effect of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Right now, my state is distancing myself. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

One option is to cut and run, but it is rarely the easy answer we hope for. But confrontation aiming for a solution takes courage and willingness from both people.

Therapists recommend using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step requires explaining how things go when you talk. It should be based on facts and essentially what a recording device would replay. Next is to express how this leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no argument on this point. What you feel are your feelings, after all. Finally is to ask ways you together going to change the pattern in your relationship."

Keep in mind she too holds perspectives, meaning you must to stay open to acknowledge it. A helpful technique is to say your friend:

"Please share your thoughts while I will not say anything for 30 minutes."

It's wildly effective in fostering better communication.

Closing Considerations

She may dismiss all you say, for those who hold onto a “survival narrative”: they have a narrative regarding their experiences they're unable to abandon because their very survival relies on it and it's all they've known. It's tough because there's no clear path in such cases, mere obstacles. However, she might initially present this way then consider on your words. And even if a resolution isn't found a resolution, you'll have closure knowing you were truthful.